


Feel Real

by TheRealKittyCraft



Series: The Feelings Verse [1]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I actually didnt intent for this fic to be louie x boyd but sometimes things happen, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Beta Read, Oneshot, Parental Gyro Gearloose, me? self projecting onto my favorite character? its more likely than you think, mention of depression, technically, the kids are 13 btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27201131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealKittyCraft/pseuds/TheRealKittyCraft
Summary: Boyd is definitely a real boy. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and he is a real boy. That's what he knows as fact, even though he has to remind himself of that sometimes, especially on days when his head is filled with darker thoughts.Or snippets into Boyd's life as he figures out what it means to be normal.
Relationships: B.O.Y.D & Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera, B.O.Y.D & Gosalyn Mallard, B.O.Y.D & Gyro Gearloose, B.O.Y.D. (Disney: DuckTales) & Huey Duck & Violet Sabrewing, B.O.Y.D. (Disney: DuckTales)/Louie Duck, Della Duck & Donald Duck & Scrooge McDuck, Drake Mallard & Gosalyn Mallard, Mr. Drake/Mrs. Drake
Series: The Feelings Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007721
Comments: 12
Kudos: 82





	Feel Real

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy, I've been trying to get this fic out since may, so there are going to be some sus stuff, but whatever.

Boyd is definitely a real boy. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and he is a real boy. That's what he knows as fact, even though he has to remind himself of that sometimes, especially on days when his head is filled with darker thoughts. He’s never had to deal with intrusive thoughts before, or any type of negative thought really. Ever since he broke out of his programming he has picked up some habits that he never used to deal with. He starts to pace around the room when he's deep in thought, he shakes his hands when he gets too excited, and his internal body temperature increases when he's “embarrassed” as Huey puts it. The eldest Duck triplet assured him that these are normal behavoirs for people, which caused Boyd to get too excited again. These new behaviors proved that he was a real boy!

Something was wrong with him though, he could tell. He just doesn’t know what. He looks in the mirror and he sees himself, but it's  _ wrong _ somehow. His hair is fine, his beak is fine, and his eyes are fine if not different than he's used to. But something is off. He's a real boy, he knows he is. He laughs, plays, and acts just like a real boy. But something is incorrect, something about him is wrong. Wrong wrong  _ wrong wrong  _ **_wrong._ **

His body wasn’t right, he concludes. Which is strange being that he is a robot, his body could be changed to be whatever he wanted it to be. And yet it was off. Everytime he lookes into a mirror all he could see was  _ wrong _ , a constant reminder that he was not  _ normal _ . He had asked the Drakes about it to see what the problem was, they just asked him if he felt more like a girl or both or neither (He was technically neither he supposed, but he was a  _ boy _ ). Boyd tried to ask his brother, but Doofus just called him a freak and ran off.

He decides to leave it alone. For now.

* * *

Something was wrong with his coding.

His body is fine. It has to be.

* * *

Gyro Gearloose is his father, he is the one who built him and came back to him, he is the one who  _ believed  _ in him in the end. But Mr. Drake is also his father, he and his wife welcomed him into their home with open arms, they treated him like a real boy without any question. They treated him like their own son, giving him his own room and signing him up for the Junior Woodchucks. He liked that.

He liked Gyro’s hugs and he liked when Mr. Drake would tuck him into bed, he liked talking about science with Gyro and he liked traviling with the Drakes. He loved both of his families. He couldn’t possibly choose which was more important to him, as he cared about both of them equally. He didn’t want to leave one for the other, they both ment so much to him. 

A few weeks after he had returned from Tokyolk, his two fathers and mother had discussed what was going to happen to him. If he was going to live with Dr. Gearloose or with the Drakes, they let him decide what he wanted to do. 

So Boyd chose both.

* * *

Weeks with Dad were filled with tinkering, Funzo’s, movie nights, and sleepovers, while weeks with Papa were filled with fancy parties, Scout meets, and business trips.

Boyd wouldn’t have it anyother way.

* * *

Boyd liked Louie, he was “chill”. Even despite the harm that Doofus and Mr. Beaks made him do, the youngest Duck triplet had accepted him without any question. He liked it when they watched  _ The Ottoman Empire _ , or when they went to Funzo’s Funzone, or when they just sat around and “vibed”, as Louie put it. Being around Louie made his body feel warm, though it was a different than “embarresed”. It was softer and made his chest feel light, he liked this warm more than the other one. Boyd wished he knew what this emotion was, he'd have to ask someone later.

Now though, he was sitting with Louie in the TV room. Said TV wasn’t actually on, leaving the only sounds in the room being whatever Louie was doing on his phone. Boyd liked Louie, he was honest despite being a con man, he always knew what to say in any situation. Boyd knew he could trust the youngest Duck triplet, he knew that he would get the answers he needed. The droid took a deep, steadying breath.

“Am I a real boy?” The green triplet looked up from his phone, he cocked his brow in confusion.

“Uh.. yeah? What kind of question is that?” Boyd just shrugged and looked down at his lap, playing with his fingers. “Well, do you feel like a boy?” 

“I-I do” 

“Then you’re a boy” 

And that was the end of that conversation.

* * *

Mom and Papa surprised him with a two week vacation, it was nice.

He missed Dad though.

* * *

He and the Duck triplets were around the same height for as long as he knew them, that was another thing that Boyd knew as fact. Huey would claim to be the tallest as he was the eldest (it was actually Louie by a fraction of a centimeter, but Violet told him to let Huey have this), but they were all approximately around the same height. Boyd thought nothing of it, or he did until he returned from his trip.

Huey was taller than Louie. It was only by and inch, but the difference was there. He measured the two multiple times throughout the day, his processors seemingly not…  _ processing _ the sudden change. 

“When did you get taller?”

“Hm?” The red triplet turned toward the robot, his brow creased in confusion.

“You’re taller than you were two weeks ago, by an inch” 

“I mean, that's normal,” Huey rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d be more concerned if I  _ didn’t _ grow.” Boyd looked down at his hands. Of course his friends would grow and get taller, that was  _ normal _ .  _ Normal _ kids grow up, and he wasn’t a normal kid. How long would it be until his friends become teenagers? Adults? Elderly? How long until he outgrows his friends, his  _ family _ ? While everyone else grew up, he would not. Boyd will stay the same forever.

Real boys grow up.

As much as he tells himself so, he is not a real boy.

He will never be.

* * *

It's not his coding that's wrong.

It's his body.

* * *

Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera liked talking, be it about science or about being a superhero (in the lab at least), Boyd knew that the ex-intern liked to strike up a conversation. Others may be deterred from Dr. Cra-  _ Fenton’s  _ fast talking, but Boyd didn’t mind. He liked listening, it was nice to talk to someone who could look past his robot exterior and see him for him. He also just liked listening to Fenton talk about things he did as a child, it made Boyd feel warm and fuzzy when he talked about things he did that Boyd does. Not the embarrassed warm or the Louie warm, it didn’t make him feel “flustered” or make him want to turn away. Huey said it was because he felt “validated”, because he felt like he belonged. Boyd likes feeling “validated”

“....There was this one time when I was a kid when my babysitter called in sick and M’ma had to go to work, so my Abuelita came over and we baked a pie. She said not to touch the oven or I’d get burned,” Fenton chuckled as he closed his eyes and shook his head. “But I was a child of science, so I had to learn from doing. So I go and touch the oven and of course I get burned, just like Abuelita said. She got  _ so  _ mad, scolded me the entire time she bandaged my hand. Never touched an oven with my bare hand again.”

Boyd smiled. “Your Abuelita sounds nice”

“She was” Fenton had a smile on his face, but his eyes looked sad. Boyd had seen this look before on the Duck-McDuck family, he had seen it on his Mom’s, Papa’s, and Doofus’ face. Grief.

He didn’t like that look.

He walked up to Fenton and gave him a hug, it was all he could do afterall. Sometimes loved ones die and you could do is be there. 

Make sure they feel “validated” too.

* * *

He stopped looking into the mirror.

It hurt to look at himself.

* * *

Boyd liked going to the store with his dad, it's a good time for bonding besides tinkering in the lab. Plus he gets to hear some pretty great stories from the time he was away for.

Currently they were in an electronics store, Dad was currently browsing the different shelves and baskets for different parts, often frowning at the prices. Boyd didn’t really understand why his dad had to buy parts for his inventions if he worked in Mr. McDuck’s lab, shouldn’t he be the one buying the parts? He assumed the answer was because the richest duck in the world was as cheap as possible without taking away from quality, but Dad said it was something else.

“You see, Boyd, Mr. McDuck pays for everything I need for anything I invent for his company. Any personal project has to come out of pocket,” Dad picked up another piece of tech, turning it over in his hands. “And this project is very personal.”

“So what are you building this time?”

“Well actually, it’s less building and more fixing and upgrading. With your system being 20 years outdated and the added damage that Beaks did to you I have alot to work with.” He held up the tech in his hands. “This is a Raspberry Pi, it’s processing capabilities and low power requirements would have made building you  _ so _ much easier.” 

Dad placed the Raspberry Pi into his basket before moving on to another isle. As they walked and shopped, his dad explained what each part was and what it does. Boyd listened and took in each word, he liked learning new things from the older man. He knew he could look it up any time he wanted, but it just wasn’t the same. He liked it when his dad explained to him a concept that he didn’t know or know much about , it made him feel like a real kid.

A real boy.

Whose body is wrong.

Boyd frowned. His dad was getting things to update his body, but would that fix whatever issue he's going through? Will the pain he feels everytime he looks in the mirror go away?

It seemed like his dad picked up on his sudden silence, stopping in the middle of the isle and crouching down to Boyds level.

“Listen, 2-B….Boyd, while I’m not good at this parent stuff I  _ do  _ know when you’re upset.” He places a hand on Boyds shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Could you tell me what's wrong, please?”

Boyd wrings his hands together, absentmindently playing with his fingers. “Will this fix the pain?” Dads brow creases in confusion.

“Pain? Boyd are you… do you feel pain?”

“I mean… it's not physical, I think,” he moves his hand to rub the back of his neck. “I just…  _ hurt _ when I look into a mirror.”

“How long has this been going on for?” 

Boyd closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and tells his dad everything.

* * *

He started wearing baggy clothing to hide his body. From himself or others, he couldn’t say.

He just hoped that no one would notice.

* * *

His dad was in a meeting with Mr. McDuck today so he would get to hang out with the Duck-McDuck family before he got to go home. He didn’t mind as the family was pleasant to be around. Huey was currently ranting and raving about the newest edition of the JWG, his hands animated as he spoke. Boyd liked listening to the eldest Duck triplet, kind of like how he liked listening to his dad. It was nice how Huey treated him just like any other kid, it made him feel “validated”. Louie, however, wasn’t listening. Headphones were in his ears as he watched  _ The Ottoman Empire _ on his phone, a physical reminder telling anyone to not bother him. 

He sometimes wished he was like Louie, someone who could ignore what everyone else thought of him and was content with his body. Or maybe be like Huey, someone who is passionate with everything he does without a care in the world.

Okay so maybe he was already alittle like Huey. The point is that Boyd wants to be  _ more  _ like Huey and Louie, he wants to be a real boy.

Maybe he shouldn’t have come over, this was a bad idea. He shouldn’t have asked to come, he didn’t want to bring himself down in front of his friends. His dad said it wasn’t healthy to compare himself to others, that it would only bring pain and sorrow.

His dad was right.

Boyd swallowed as he tried to blink back tears, which was also a new behavior he picked up. He didn’t really  _ like _ crying, his synthetic feathers got all messed up and his eyes didn’t function like they usually did. Plus it became harder to hide the fact that something was bothering him.

Both Huey and Louie must have picked up on his behavior because both of them were at his side, their eyes filled with confusion and concern. Huey was holding his hands, rubbing circles in his palms with his thumbs while Louie just placed his hand on his leg. His body started getting warm again, he's lucky his dad replaced his old cooling unit as it's now running overdrive in his distressed state. The eldest Duck triplet took a deep breath.

“Boyd, what's wrong? The Junior Woodchuck Guidebook states that the first thing you do when someone is crying is to ask them if they want to talk about it and provide comfort to that person, but I’ve never seen you cry before and I don’t really know what you’d like to do in this kind of situation because I don’t know if  _ you’ve _ ever cried bef-”

“Hubert, give Boyd some room to  _ breath _ .” Louie interrupts. “The point is, what can we do?”

“I-I don’t” Boyds voice cracked as he spoke, “I can’t, I shouldn’t, I-”

Louies grip on his leg tightened. “Listen, I’m not good at this comforting thing, but you should know that you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.”

Huey nodded. “Louie’s right, we just want you to know that you can tell us anything. No judgement.” Louie hummed in agreement as he hesitantly moved his spare hand towards his cheek to wipe away his tears, which caused Boyd to cry harder.

“What the blazes is going on over here?” 

It seemed that his dad really  _ did _ know when he was upset, because there at the doorway was his dad with Mr. McDuck. Dad had rushed over and scooped Boyd into his arms, holding him close.

Huey was the first to speak up. “We don’t really know what happened Uncle Scrooge, Boyd just got all quiet all of a sudden and started crying.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Louie and I tried to comfort him, but then he started crying  _ harder _ .”

Mr. McDuck placed a hand onto Huey and Louie’s shoulders. “You did good lads, but I think that Boyd here is going through alot right now and needs some space.” He meets his dad's eyes. “Gyro, you can have the day off tomorrow. It looks like you need it”

His dad nodded and left without another word.

Boyd wished he knew what his dad and Mr. McDuck were talking about before he had to come and get him. He’ll find out later he supposed. For now though, he’d stay tight in his father's grip, protected from anymore bad thoughts and feelings for the rest of the day.

* * *

( _ “Mr. McDuck, listen, this goes beyond my capabilities, I can’t possibly fix what he's going through. Boyd needs help that I don’t even know how to provide!” Gyro closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I am a brilliant scientist, but I have no idea what to do in this situation.” _

_ “That young lad may be mechanical, but he's a real child, and children need guidance. He doesn’t know what he’s going through and needs some help going down the right path, or it will get worse” Scrooge places a hand on Gyros arm. “Do what you think is best for the lad. That’s all you can do.” _

_ Gyro had some calls to make. _ )

* * *

Mom, Papa, and Dad all sat him down a few days later. They usually did this once a month to make sure that their schedule was working, but today was different. Today they didn’t sit him down to talk about custody, no, they were here to talk about  _ him _ . His issues and problems and what was  _ wrong _ with him. His mom grabbed his hand, rubbing his knuckles.

“Boyd, we just want you to know that we love you  _ very _ much. We are so very grateful that you came into our lives, and we want to make sure that you are happy.” Her breath hitched as her eyes filled with unshead tears. “We want to make sure that your mental health is okay.” His papa nodded.

“We just wanted to know how you felt about therapy.”

Boyd’s brow creased with confusion. He already went to family therapy with the Drakes, it was mostly to make sure that the family (mostly Doofus) was adjusting properly after his adoption. “Don’t we already do therapy?” His dad shook his head.

“Not really, this kind of therapist would be for  _ your  _ mental health.” he ran his fingers through his hair. “Boyd, when I built you I never could have imagined that your brain would develop much like a normal childs. And because you have developed like a normal child, we believe that it would be best to treat your mental health like anyone else.”

“Only… only if you want to.” His papa interjected. “Your mother, father, and I just want what's best for you. We won't put you into therapy if you don’t want to.”

Boyd swallowed thickly. “Will therapy stop the pain?” His dad shrugs.

“We don’t know, It might. Therapy doesn’t work for everyone and it's not some magical cure that makes you all better after a few sessions, but it's a start.” A start, a start on a path that will lead him on a long road to recovery, a start to making him  _ better _ . Boyd smiled.

He liked the sound of that

* * *

He started therapy a week later.

Dr. Burdett is nice, she gives him coloring pages and sudokus when he gets alittle too stressed.

His dad was right, it's not an instant fix, but Boyd feels lighter than he did a few months ago.

For the first time in months he feels alright.

* * *

Boyd had a crush on Llewellyn Duck. He didn’t actually  _ realize _ he had a crush on the green clad duck until Dr. Burdett had told him. He’s never  _ had _ a crush before, how was he supposed to know that the warmth he felt around Louie was a crush warm and not a friend warm.

Now that it was pointed out to him though, he couldn’t stop  _ thinking _ about it. His chest got all light and warm every time he thought about him, he could  _ feel _ the air leave his “lungs” (it's actually a filtration system, but as Louie often says; “small potatoes”) every time he smiled, and his legs felt like mush.

Boyd didn’t know how he felt about having a crush on Louie Duck. There was nothing wrong with Louie, don’t get him wrong. Louie was smarter than he gives himself credit for, he can come up with a well thought out plan and properly execute it in  _ seconds _ , his smile is nice and bright, he snorts when he laughs too hard, his eyes sparkled when he thought of a new scheme, and Boyd can see the beginnings of whiskers on his cheeks that were probably going to be soft and fluffy when they finished growing in. Louie wasn’t perfect, nobody was, but he was  _ Louie _ and that’s all that mattered.

So yeah, Boyd Drake-Gearloose had a crush on Louie Duck. That was the problem.

Boyd’s first impression with Louie went  _ terrible _ , and sure he had accepted the android with open arms afterwards (“water under the bridge” the youngest Duck triplet had said), but would he  _ really  _ be okay with dating Boyd? Someone who wasn’t norm-

No… not normal… Dr. Burdett had said that it wasn’t healthy to call everyone else “normal”, no one was normal as “normal” is a social pretense created to keep people in line. ( _ “Instead of saying ‘I’m not normal’, you could say ‘I’m unique.’” Dr. Burdett had suggested. _ )

Okay, backtrack. Would Louie really be alright with dating an  _ android _ . That's a better sentence, not perfect, but better. Boyd didn’t really know if Louie felt the same way ( _ “You don’t know if you don’t give him a chance” _ ).

Boyd didn’t really know, but he could try.

* * *

“Boyd, depression is a dirty liar. Remind yourself every time you think of a negative thought that it's depression trying to put you down.” Dr. Burdett leaned forward in her chair, taking her glasses off of her face. “Try putting a positive spin on those intrusive thoughts. For example, when you think ‘I’m not a real boy’, say out loud ‘I identify with the male gender, so that makes me a boy’. You have to remember that you are the only person who gets a say in who you are, only you have the power to define yourself.”

* * *

Boyd loved his brother, he really did, but there were times that Boyd wanted to pull out his hair. On good days Doofus could tolerate his presence, and lately they have been getting along much better. On bad days Doofus would yell and cry and protest, which only caused Boyd to want to hit his head against a wall. Lately they have had more good days than bad ones, but still.

He had asked Huey at their last Junior Woodchuck scout meeting if this was norm- (no, not normal) if his brothers ever made him feel like a loose cannon. Both Huey and Violet had told him that they experienced the same thing all the time, that had made him feel alittle better.

Boyd wasn’t sure if this was a good day or a bad one, as he hasn’t even seen his brother today. Which was strange as Mom and Papa would force him to eat meals together, but he just didn’t show up for breakfast  _ or _ lunch. His brows creased with confusion, what could have happened to him?

He hesitantly walked towards Doofus’ room with a weighted blanket in hand. Boyd really hoped it was a good day today. He raised a hand to knock on the door, his fist just mere centimeters from touching the door. He closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath.

He knocked.

If Boyd was nor- if Boyd was not an android, he wouldn’t have heard the slight movements in the room. Doofus was alive at least. He stood there for a few moments, waiting for a response, hoping that Doofus wasn’t asleep and he was just worrying over nothing. Before he knocked again he had heard it, a sniffle. 

Doofus was crying.

Boyd took another deep breath before he quietly opened the door. His brother was sitting in the middle of his bed, his glasses were off, his hair was a mess, and the feathers on his cheeks were crusted with dried tears. He was holding a picture frame to his chest and his eyes were clouded and sad. Boyd recognized the look in Doofus’ eyes. Grief. 

He really, really didn’t like that look.

Boyd walked over to his brother's bed and wrapped him in the blanket, his brother returned the gesture with a glare.

“What do  _ you _ want? Have you come to laugh at me? Mock me?” Boyd shook his head as he sat down next to his “older” brother.

“I wanted to see if you were okay, you didn’t show up for breakfast or lunch.”

“I don’t need your pity,  _ robot _ ” It was Boyd’s turn to glare, but Doofus just scoffed. “What? Are you going to tell Mother what I called you? Get me in trouble?” 

Boyds gaze softened. “No, I’m not because whatever your feeling is valid” Doofus froze, so he continued. “Doofus, you’re  _ allowed  _ to feel the way you feel, it's okay to feel like I upended your entire life, because I  _ did _ . I know from personal experience how it feels to have your thoughts and emotions validated”

Doofus looked down at the picture frame in his hands, it was a photo of him and Gummeemama. “Why do you care? I’m just a spoiled brat, right?”

“No, just a kid. Kids grow and make mistakes, what matters is if you work toward fixing those mistakes.” Boyd stood up and walked towards the door. Before he left, he turned back and smiled. “Plus, you’re my brother. I have to make sure you’re okay.” He exited Doofus’ bedroom and closed the door, but even so he could hear a faint ‘thanks’ from inside.

Boyd’s smile widened. Yeah, it was a good day.

* * *

Boyd looks at himself in the mirror.

_ Wrong wrong wrong wrong  _ **_wrong_ **

He takes a deep, steadying breath before speaking.

“I  _ am _ a real boy, I am the  _ only _ one who defines myself” He says, and it feels like a small bandaid on a gaping wound, but it’s better. It feels as though a weight has started to lift off of his shoulders.

Nothing was wrong with his code  _ or _ his body, he was okay.

* * *

Boyd had never been to St. Canard before, he hadn’t had a reason to go before he supposed. He was spending the day with Fenton while his dad was in a business meeting. Fenton had offered to take Boyd for the time being so the two had gone to meet with Darkwing Duck at his secret hideout, the older duck had said it was for a costume upgrade and it would probably be boring. Boyd didn’t mind, he had wanted to meet the other superhero that Launchpad often raved about on the drive home from scout meetings.

Fenton and Darkwing were chatting it up near the computer, so Boyd wandered around. The hideout was very nice, the view of St. Canard was beautiful, and Boyd could see a handmade  _ Dewey-Dew-Night  _ poster on the wall along with other  _ Darkwing Duck _ merchandise. He smiled, it reminded him much of Launchpad's “bachlor pad” at McDuck Manor. He had been a few times, not really staying for long, but it had looked similar to this.

Boyd was about to pick up an action figure to inspect it before a hand grabbed his arm. “You probably don’t want to do that, kid” 

His eyes widened as he whipped around to see who had snuck up on him before relaxing, it was just a kid, Gosalyn if his memory served him right. Launchpad had shown him a picture of her during one of his stories of his adventures with the terror that flaps in the night. “Why?”

“Dr- er.. DW gets all weird about his toys.”

“They’re action figures!” Darkwing interjected, which Gosalyn stuck her tongue out at. She closed her eyes and shook her head before turning back to Boyd.

“Yeah, so anyways… He’s very sentimental about those, so you have to be careful.” She led him to the couches, finally letting go of his arm so he could sit down. “He and Launchpad are  _ serious _ Darkwing Duck nerds, so you have to tread lightly.”

Boyd nodded. “I get it, Dad’s the same way over me and Lil’ Bulb” Especially since his breakdown in McDuck Manor but Gosalyn doesn’t have to know that. The two talk to eachother about random topics for the remainder of the time, Darkwing interjected into their conversation several times which only left him exasperated in the end, which made Gosalyn tease him more. 

Boyd smiled as his new friend (?) poked the heroes buttons, it reminded him much of how Dewey would tease his brothers. He huffed out a laugh at the duo as Fenton corralled him to the exit, ready to head back to Duckburg. Before he leaves, Gosalyn gives him a two finger salute.

He had never been to St. Canard before, but he wouldn’t mind coming back again.

* * *

“Recovery isn’t a linear slope, there are going to be dips here and there in which you can revert to old habits. The best solution for this is to recognize the signs and give yourself some time and self care. And remember, try to speak out to a trusted friend or adult if you feel like you can’t pick yourself back up.” Dr. Burdett smiled at him. “You have a lot of great people in your corner, Boyd, don’t forget to let them handle some of that weight you still hold.”

* * *

Boyd never expected it to blurt out his crush on Louie in front of Huey and Violet, but as Dewey often says; “it just be like that sometimes”.

Really, he should have expected it. They were at a scout camp out and had just finished setting up their tents and campfire, so they had sat around the fire roasting marshmallows. He wasn’t really paying attention to the other two's conversation at that moment, he was just doodling in the sketchbook that his therapist had gifted him. She had suggested that drawing could be used to clear one's mind or to express yourself, so he did. 

He had drawn several pictures of his friends and family, many either from memory or from reference, but Louie seemed to appear more often and with more detail. And yeah, it was kind of embarrassing, but who else was he supposed to vent out his feelings too? Louie?? No thank you, Boyd was not ready for that quite yet.

He was so focused in his drawing that he didn’t realize that Huey and Violet had peaked over his shoulder and seen what he was drawing, which could have been explained away if it weren’t for the hearts he drew in the margins of the sketchbook (also that he had written Llewellyn Drake-Gearloose and Boyd Duck in the margins too, but they didn’t mention that part so hopefully they didn’t actually see it). Hueys eyebrows had risen in surprise.

“Boyd, why did you-”  _ Okay Boyd, come up with a good excuse. Say literally anything. _

“I HAVE A CRUSH ON LOUIE”  _ NOT THAT!  _ Boyd placed his head in his hands, his cooling fans kicked in as his body became warm with embarrassment. Boyd did  _ not _ think this would have happened today. Huey just blinked as he stood there shocked, not really processing what the android had said. Violet had placed her hand on Boyd’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

“Apologies Boyd, we did not mean to snoop. We were merely interested in what you were doing” Boyd’s shoulders slumped as he put his hands on his lap.

“I know, it's alright. I know you two didn't mean anything by it”

“Are you going to confess?”

Boyd shook his head. “Oh no, I don’t think he likes me like that” That seemed to snap Huey out of whatever turmoil was going inside his brain. He walked up to Boyd and shook his shoulders.

“LOUIE???!! What do you mean he doesn’t like you like that? LOUIE?????!!” Violet pried Hueys hands off of Boyd as the eldest Duck triplet went off on another tangent. “I have been waiting for  _ months _ Boyd,  _ MONTHS _ ! I had to comfort him several times because he thought  _ you  _ wouldn’t like  _ him _ !! And this whole time you thought the opposite!!!”

The breath left Boyd lungs as his cooling fans worked on overdrive. Louie… liked him? Louie…  _ liked him???? _ His chest felt too light and full and his hands started to shake. He never really thought this far ahead, he knew that his therapist said to give Louie a chance but… he never thought that it would be true!

“Hubert, Boyd is currently having a meltdown, I think it would be best to cool him off” Huey sighed as he sat down next to the android, his fingers nervously running though his hair.

“Okay, so… you have a crush on Louie… do you want to talk about it…?” Violet sat down on the other side of Boyd, handing him back the forgotten sketchbook. He played with the pencil for a moment, thinking about what his therapist has told him about letting others hold some of this weight. So he takes a deep breath and tells them (almost) everything.

* * *

He told Dr. Burdett about what had happened. 

“That's great Boyd!” She had said, and maybe he was starting to believe it too.

* * *

Alright, he was going to confess. He didn’t  _ really _ know what to do in this kind of situation, and the internet had mixed advice so he took it upon himself to figure out how this works. You have to have a blessing, right? Boyd didn’t know, but he felt like his family would know what Louie would like.

And that's what brought him to the houseboat in McDuck Manor’s pool. Boyd had stood in front of the door for a few minutes, not really knowing what to do or say. He had gone to see Mr. Duck first, as he was the one to raise the triplets for most of their lives, but he was still planning on visiting Ms. Duck too. What does someone say to their crushes parents (or uncle in this case)? ‘Oh hi! Your son/nephew is cute and I want to date him! Please let me!!’

So yeah, Boyd was having a crisis. He shook his hands a couple times before raising his fist to knock, it was now or never.

Before he could knock, the door had swung open, revealing Della Duck. They stared at each other for a few moments, not each not making the first move.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there! Boyd, right? Gyro’s kid?” He nodded. “Did you need something?”

Boyd tugged at his sweater. “Oh well Ms. Duck...I uh… Wanted to speak you and Mr. Duck, uh Donald Duck that is, about something….” Ms. Duck laughed.

“Della is just fine, Ms. Duck makes me feel old” 

Mr. Duck peaked his head out from inside. “I thought you were leaving”

“I  _ was _ , but then one of the kids’ friends showed up.” She motions Boyd to follow her inside. 

Boyd follows silently, grip tight on the bottom of his sweater. Ms. D- Della sat him down on a couch across from her while Mr. Duck went and grabbed some tea. They sat in silence while they waited, both not sure what to say. Boyd looked around at the décor, there were several pictures hanging up on the walls, mostly of the Duck triplets. There were pictures of first steps, baby baths, there were  _a lot_ of baby pictures that Boyd could only feel envious of. ( _ “It’s okay to feel that way about others,” Dr. Burdett had said. “Just don’t let it consume you.” _ ) Boyd shook his head to clear his thoughts, now wasn’t the right time.

“You um…. Have a nice house… it's cozy.” 

Mr. Duck smiled as he placed down a cup of tea in front of Boyd. “Thanks kiddo,” He sat down next to his sister, hands around his own tea. “So what did you need?”

He swallowed thickly as his breaths became shallow.  _ This is it, no backing out of it now. Say something, be direct.  _ “I want to date your son”  _ NOT THAT DIRECT. _ “Uh… Louie that is… I want to date Louie so I thought I’d ask permission first” This was literally the worst, why did he think this was a good idea? Normal kids could properly confess to their crushes, he was better off not coming at all. Boyd stood up to leave “I’m sorry this was dumb, I should just-”

Mr. Duck placed his hand on Boyd's shoulder. “It’s not dumb”

“I- b-but I” Della laughed.

“I just can’t believe you asked  _ us _ permission to date Louie.” She smiles as she shakes her head. “It's adorable”

He placed his face into his hands as Mr. Duck sat him back down. Boyd wanted to melt into the floor this was so embarrassing, did people  _ actually _ do this? Was this a regular thing that people did?? 

“I think you’re either asking the wrong question or the wrong person” Mr. Duck rasped.

“W-what do you mean?” Boyd placed his hands onto his lap, his fingers absentmindedly tugging at his sweater once again.

“You don’t need  _ our  _ permission to date Louie, you need  _ Louie’s _ . What we can do is tell you  _ how _ to ask Louie out.” Oh. That made sense. He sighed, his shoulders slumped. So he  _ had _ done the wrong thing.

Della pumped her fist in the air “You have to be bold.”

“Sentimental” Mr. Duck interjected.

“Yeah, yeah,” She waved him off. “You see, Louie doesn’t really like being caught off guard.”

Mr. Duck nodded. “Louie has to expect you to say something, he likes seeing all of the angles, but if one isn’t ‘my friend has a crush on me’ he might be stuck into a situation he has no idea how to get out of.” He placed a hand onto Boyd's, his grip firm. “You have to show you care while being direct, that is the best way to ask him out.”

“You- you don’t”  _ You don’t mind that an android wants to date your son? You don’t mind that a boy wants to date your son? You don’t mind that I’m not  _ normal _? _ “You don’t mind if I ask him out?”

Della shook her head. “No, if he wants to be with you, who are we to judge?”

Boyd smiled, maybe this was the right decision afterall.

* * *

( _ “He asked us, Uncle Scrooge, us if he could date Louie” Della said. Scrooge's eyes were blown wide. _

_ “Really? Why on Earth would he do that?” _

_ Donald shrugged. “He just wanted to be sure we were okay with it I suppose”  _

_ “That sounds like the lad.” Scrooge let out a small laugh. “If he’s like that all the time, then I think Louie will be in good hands.” _ )

* * *

Boyd wanted to throw up. He didn’t actually know if he  _ could _ , but he could cry so he supposed anything was possible. He's never  _ had _ a sleepover before, and based off of what he was told about sleepovers with the Duck/McDuck family Boyd knows that there is nothing he could possibly prepare for. In all actuality, he felt alittle underprepared with a sleeping bag, pillow, and portable charger while Gosalyn had brought her crossbow and some smokebombs ( _ “You never know when you need them” She had said to him. _ )

He had not prepared for any supernatural phenomena that most likely would happen, he had also not prepared for Huey and Violet setting him up next to Louie. They had given him knowing looks afterwards so he knew that they had done it on purpose. He had told the two about his plans to confess only a few days prior, he must have not told them that he didn’t mean at the sleepover.

And that's what led him here, sitting next to Louie while they watched Webby, Violet, Gosalyn, and Lena attempt to do some occult ritual. Huey and Dewey were absent at the moment, having left for a few minutes to bring snacks. Boyd didn’t know you could get nauseous from being nervous, but you learned something new everyday. 

The two sat in silence, neither daring to say a word. This was awkward wasn’t it? Boyd liked his friendship with the youngest Duck triplet, he didn’t really want to ruin it. What if he was reading the signs wrong? What if Louie really  _ didn’t _ want to date him? They were only 13, was that too young to date?? Boyd's hands gripped the bottom of his sleep shirt, contemplating whether or not to get up and join in whatever the girls were doing.

He jolted when a hand was placed onto his shoulder. Louie, Louie had grabbed his shoulder. Boyd looked over at the green clad duck, whose eyes were filled with concern. Boyd briefly thinks about how Louie seemed to somehow know when he got upset, it reminded him of his dad. Boyd took a deep breath and sighed, giving Louie a small smile.

“I’m okay” The youngest Duck triplet gave him a look that said that he wasn’t entirely convinced, so Boyd continued. “I mean, I didn’t really know if I was making things awkward between us by just sitting here and doing nothing”

“No, no… I don’t mind just sitting here… it was nice” Boyd almost missed it, but it appeared that Louie was looking for something more. Boyd was friends with Louie long enough to recognize when the green triplet started to scheme, when he looked at all of the possibilities of any given situation. His eyes sparked with excitement and his beak upticked alittle bit. But this look, the one Louie was giving him right now, it was filled with disappointment. It was as if he was expecting something else. ( _ “Louie has to expect you to say something, he likes seeing all of the angles, but if one isn’t ‘my friend has a crush on me’ he might be stuck into a situation he has no idea how to get out of.” _ )

Nervousness bubbled in his belly as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. ( _ “You have to be bold.” _ ), ( _ “I had to comfort him several times because he thought you wouldn’t like him!!” _ ), ( _ “You have to show you care while being direct,” _ ) It’s now or never. He either confesses and takes that next step that he has been building up to, or he goes back on everything that he's learned these past few months. Boyd takes a grounding breath and places his hand on top of Louies, his grip firm but not painful.

“I don’t mind sitting here with you too” He gives Louies hand a small squeeze. The green clad duck swallows thickly, his cheeks dusted with pink.

“Oh uh, cool, cool…” He clears his throat. “We are friends afterall”

It’s now or never.

“I really like you Louie Duck” ( _ “You don’t need our permission to date Louie, you need  _ Louie’s _.” _ ), ( _ “You don’t know if you don’t give him a chance” _ ). It’s now or never, he had to try. “I’d like to take you out on a date, if that's alright with you”

The two sat in silence once more, neither looking away from eachother. Louie had opened and closed his mouth in an attempt to say something several times, but not really finding the right words to say. His breath hitches as he nodds his head, biting his lower beak. 

“I’d… I’d like that” 

* * *

The two don’t let go of the others hand for the rest of the night, even despite the knowing looks thrown their way.

Boyd found that he didn’t really mind.

* * *

Boyd is definitely a real boy. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and he is a real boy. That's what he knows as fact. When he looks into the mirror he sees himself, and no matter how much his brain tries to say otherwise he is the only one who can define himself. Sure there are good days and bad days, but Boyd has his family to help him through the rough patches.

He’s not normal, but nobody really is. He's just Boyd, and that’s all he needs to be. And he was okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm surprised that you read this far as this fic is the equivalent of a dumpster fire. I've actually had this fic idea since may, and it's gone though several revisions since then. If anyone wants to know the original plot you can dm me on my tumblr (therealkittycraft), I'm always free to chat. Anyways, leave a comment letting me know how I can improve on my writing.


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